It’s another year almost since your untimely death and I find myself screaming in my pillow. Screaming angry tears of regret. I wish to the heavens that you did not have to die Sebastian. I miss you so unbelievably much it hurts to breathe. It breaks me. Aghhhhhh I really really hate this. I really hate that you are not here and that I cannot be your mom. I hate that you had to die. I hate that you’re not here anymore. I miss you so so much. It hurts me. I don’t have words to speak.