Dear Life-Partner (9)

Dear Life-Partner,

Hope you are well, wherever you are in this world….

I finished my job as a debt-collector seven days ago. I no longer have to do the endless voicemail marathon.  I finished on Valentine’s day. Everyone seems to be obsessed with Valentine’s day. Who they will go out with. What they will wear. Where they will go eat. Will they get flowers from their love? The list of endless possibilities. I left work that day with victory. With the last word. Have fun with the voicemails. Everyone laughed. I was relieved. Relieved because I no longer have to sit seven and a half hours a day listening to the answer machine with an infinite hum of variety.

Now, I am in the slow process of recovering. Well maybe recovering isn’t the right word. Let us just say I am catching up on my sleep, on relaxing time, on spending some money on myself.

I am moving to Ireland at some stage between now and July. I want to travel a bit first and see a bit more of the different places in Europe.  Sometimes on your travels you can meet the nicest people, have contacts for a life-time, and even people just helping you along on the next stage of your journey. Travelling brings a whole new dimension into your world. It helps you learn about yourself. It helps you to appreciate the different cultures dotted across Europe.  And frankly we are basically all the same. We are all looking for love, to be loved, to be cared for. To feel appreciated. To have friends. To have those connections. Moments of laughter, moments of tears. Moments of joy. Moments of fear. It all comes with travelling, and day to day life wherever you are in this world.  I guess last year on my travels, I learnt a lot about myself. I learnt a lot about being able to persevere. I didn’t think I could. I didn’t think I could be tested like that. But when I look back to that time of travelling. I think of it fondly. I think of all the people I have met. I think of how we all could share experiences and learn from each other. It was one of the best times in my life, and it was a year where I experienced a deeper and more personal relationship with my heavenly Father. I relied on him for everything, and I am so very thankful that I had the opportunity to go.

Hopefully I can find a job with children. If not right away, I can always volunteer in a children’s home. Where there is a will there is a way. Or at least that is what I think. I have been thinking for a while now to get a house pet. Maybe a dog. Maybe a cat. I know not exactly ideal when I think I’ll be travelling a lot more across the world.  But I have heard of people doing it who are travelling a lot to share the gospel. And it works. The animal goes to either an animal babysitter, animal hotel or a friend comes to look after the animal. I just think I don’t want to come home in the evenings to an empty flat. I would love to come home in the evenings and be able to talk to an animal if there is no-one else to talk to. Even if I ever get married, having an animal is nice. It creates variety. And forces you to have exercise. Well depending what type of animal you get. Well its just an idea. An idea that may turn into a reality….. or not!

I have this desire to serve God more and more. And to write books for the Glory of His Kingdom. I can’t see myself working another year in an office. I have done it for three years. Maybe three and a half years. And it doesn’t bring much joy to my heart. I would love to work with people. I want to help people. I want to help children. But mainly I want to work with children who are disabled or who are unwanted by their families. I want to help the broken-hearted. I want to help the unwanted people of this world.  There is so much that I want to do. But only God can provide me with the tools to help these people. So, I have to trust that He will open the door for me. Where there is a will, there is a way.

And my desire to be a wife and a mum is still there. Still growing by the day. Still questioning though whether this is what God really wants of me? Or if its just my desire?

I have a lot of questions in my life. A lot of uncertainties in my life. A lot of pain. A lot of hurt. But I am learning to trust again. Learning to be open to the endless possibilities that Father God has for me. I know and trust that He will provide His very best for me. Because I am His unique child, His special child.

I am praying for you daily, and I hope that you are well – wherever you are.

May the Lord bless you greatly.

Till we meet.

With much love,
Hannah
xx

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