Under Depression’s Blanket

Depression is like a harsh blanket of snow
Suffocating peace and joy from blooming
Trapped in films cocktailed with fear.
Panic flies above like the crows of the dark night
Stealing the little energy that is left within me
The pain of mundane tasks day in day out
Slowly seizes the life out of my very soul
And I am left to wonder…
… What is my purpose in this life?
Where does God want me to go?
What is my purpose God?
Where are you Father?
What is the purpose of all these
Letters that start with a ‘T’
Trials
Tragedies
Tribulations
Toils
Endless troubles….
Does not God turn tragedy into something beautiful?
What are my lessons I wonder.
Patience Hannah. Patience Hannah. Patience, patience.
Echoes loudly amongst the dimming day.
And my heart reels in fear
What if I get trapped in this dark pit forever?
This is not what I want.
My stumbling block as I see the steep mountains
Glaring before me, gripping me into a sense of alarm
How will I move forward?
How will I achieve God’s best
If I am trapped under depression’s blanket?
Stuck in what seems a timeless elevator
An empty void of nothingness.
Somehow my worth is lost.
But isn’t my worth in God?
Not measured against others?
But with depression snagging me along
My self-worth diminishes before my eyes…
Father help me, I pray.
Lead me to the cross
I surrender myself.
So I can be free from all
This pain that traps me
Blinds me into believing
That I am not worthy.
Father help me, I pray.
I need you, I can’t do this on my own
No more.

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