There are moments in my life where I am acutely aware of my in-adequateness.  At the fact that I wasn’t able to keep my son from dying. My body failed me. And each time I hear someone is having a … Continue reading →

I keep running towards You Broken I am Deeply burdened, weary With the circus of life Confused and lonely Desperately tired of fighting A losing battle You whispered to me and said Hannah, be still and know that I am … Continue reading →

It has taken a tremendous effort on my part to stay still over the last couple of months and not to run from where I have been living.  It would be so much easier to give up. It is what … Continue reading →

A walk of faith is not a painless journey It is a strenuous walk in the mountains Of muddied terrain – walking blindly On the path God has set before me One step forward, five steps back Rewarding it becomes … Continue reading →

What does it mean to struggle? According to Cambridge dictionary it means to experience difficulty and make a very great effort in order to do something.  What does to suffer mean? Again according to the dictionary to suffer means to feel pain or … Continue reading →

Often the deep questions of life keep me awake from the early hours of the morning till dawn breaks into a glorious day of sun.  I’ve been awake since two this morning, maybe earlier. Usually before a big day for … Continue reading →

Yesterday, I had the mother of all migraines. A living hell.  I wanted to die. I think this must have been one of the worst attacks I have ever had when it comes to migraine land. This was the first real … Continue reading →

I feel incredibly disconnected from life today. Though the sun is shining and it is unusually hot for this time of year. I should be outside enjoying the sun. The weather before the season turns and winter arrives on our … Continue reading →

It is 1.05 pm, four years Since your birth.. and death But it seems as if it only Happened hours ago. The air is thick with memories Grief surprises me this year Comes crashing in thick and fast I remember … Continue reading →

My dearest Sebastian, Happy 4th Birthday in heaven! If you were here we would be maybe having pancakes or waffles for breakfast I imagine.  We would sit around the table at Grandma and Grandpa’s house with Auntie Madeleine and I … Continue reading →