I sit in your presence Lord. I come to worship you Lord. I give you my all. I surrender my all to you. O Lord, please convict me of my sins, please help me to grow more deeply in you. Please help me to seek you more and more deeply and let me focus on the cross. I want to share my life with you and seek you more deeply. I do not want to do this on my own anymore. O Lord, i need you more then i ever knew that i needed you.

Jeremiah 17:7-8
But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots in the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

O Lord help me to be more like you. Help me to seek you more O Lord hear my prayer. Lord the last few weeks, month maybe, well really since the 8th of April (so nearly a month ago) I attended this concert and you convicted my spirit. Thank you Lord, for bringing Jules to Bratislava to show me the errors of my ways. Thank you Lord for Jules’ testimony and that my ears were open to what had to be said. Thank you Lord. I feel lighter in spirit, since I started seeking your word in more earnest in recent weeks. I feel reverberated. I feel like this deep heaviness has been taken of my chest as i seek your word more deeply Lord. Lord i remember 5/6 weeks ago i was ready to throw away what i believed in. I was so desperately alone. And YET You LOVED me, a sinner, not worthy of your grace. I just want more of you God in my life. More of you in my life God.

Lord thank you for helping me to see you more clearly and for me not to be so afraid of praying and worshipping you. I am not ashamed of worshipping you. You are the lover of my soul and i just want more of you in my life. I want to nestle myself against your bosom and be safe in your presence. I don’t want to do this on my own anymore. I need you all the time to guide me, to show me the way forward and not let me follow my sinful nature. O Lord I need more of you.

In the last weeks i have experienced so much of your love, it is almost so surreal that it gives me goose bumps when i think about it. It is such an amazing feeling to be able to feel the very love you have for me (and yet I don’t deserve it). I don’t deserve any of it. I am but dust. I am but a sinner. 4 weeks ago, if it wasn’t for the concert it would have been more than likely that i would have been laying in a ditch somewhere. I was so tired of this deep anguish inside of me. I was so tired of feeling like the world was against me. But in actual fact God was for me, and so were the friends in my lives. They prayed for. They loved me and i was blind and i did not see. I was chained to a wall in my emotional jail and i couldn’t see past my fingers. Thank you Lord for the grace and love, and patience you have shown me in the last weeks. Thank you for the cross. Thank you for the cross where i can lay my burdens down and seek you more deeply. Thank you Lord Jesus. Because of the cross it is well with my soul. I am truly a blessed person. And i didn’t know it. I didn’t see it. I didn’t hear it. Thank you God for your AMAZING GRACE in my life. Thank you for carrying me.

A month ago i was a bitter person. I was ready to throw everything away. I was reading my bible every day but there was no zeal to it. It was passionless. It was painful. I was far away from you. I felt so alone. I was so angry with everything that has happened to me. Losing my son Sebastian was one of the hardest things i had to endure. And yet through losing him, my faith is growing, the depth of my relationship with you God is growing. And the desire in my heart to get to know you more deeply is intensifying to the point that i just want more of you. To the point that i am craving alone time to spend time in the word of God and to worship you alone. Thank you God for this desire in my heart. Thank you God for this conviction in my soul. Thank you for giving me hope again where there seemed to be none.

I feel like i am healing, like i am at the edge of my wilderness and i can see something like a torch at the end leading me the way forward. Thank you God for this beautiful, beautiful journey that i have been on. Thank you for allowing me to know you more deeply and for my willingness to sit STILL in your presence.

Psalm 51:10-12
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore tome the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me!

When my son died, I slowly started believing in the lies of the devil that his death was somehow my fault. That i wasn’t worth it. But i now know that it wasn’t really the case. It was more a case of trusting God that He knows what is best for us. I just felt so hopeless and i was so fixated on the dates and so fixated on my grief that i wasn’t able to see past my grief. I was so angry and bitter after losing my son that I wasn’t able to focus clearly on your word anymore. I was blind but now I can see.

My prayer for today is this:
Lord please create a pure heart in me. Please help me to seek your will more clearly. Please let me hear your voice, and let me honour you more and more. I want to surrender my all to you. I want to know you more. I need more Jesus in my life. More Jesus please. More Jesus please. I pray that you will seal a protection over my heart as i begin to see more clearly and feel the healing balm of your presence on me. I pray that i seek to sit more in your presence Lord. I want to be more in your presence Lord. I love to be with you, Lord. Thank you Lord Jesus for forgiving me my transgressions. I want to be more like you God. I want to be a beacon for the broken women. I want to help women like me to see that all things are done for the glory of your kingdom. Lord, please hold me tonight as i fall into a deep peaceful slumber knowing completely the love that you have for me which I, (Hannah) does not deserve. Thank you Lord for your grace in my life. Thank you for your wisdom and strength. I just want more of you. Thank you God. Thank you God for waking me up and for putting the right people in my life at the right time. Thank you God. Thank you God. More Jesus. More Jesus. I want to worship you more and more. I want to be sitting in your presence more and proclaiming life over me. Dear God, i want to pray for all the broken hearted and that you may comfort them and give them peace in their lives. I pray that they may know your presence and that they may seek you more and more. Thank you God. In your most precious name i pray. Amen.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s