Trapped in Silence, Seeking Refuge

Trapped in silence.  Trapped in fear.  Trapped. Everywhere i turn i am trapped.  The laughing figures in my sleep are chasing me, chasing me, grabbing me and then i am falling, falling, falling as they take hold of my weak spirit.  My heart pounding against my chest.  My heart going thump thumpy thump against my chest.  And then there is a big silence and i know the end is near, at least i hope the end is near.  Prisoner to my enemies.  I can defeat these enemies.  All i need is the blood of Jesus covering me.  I can defeat this with God.  I am not alone.  I am not alone in this.  Covered in sweat, shaking from fear, afraid to even move from my foetal position, I am reminded gently by the voice of reason, voice of God of the following verses:


Joshua 1:9

Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.


The Lord is my shepherd. Lord I trust you. I worship you, enemy you are defeated.  Enemy you are defeated.  Lord you are worthy and holy.  Most powerful  God.  Lord you are my God and my saviour.  My everlasting presence.   Lord I love you, Lord there is none like you.  You have defeated all my enemies.  Lord your peace transcends us as we defeat the enemy in your most holy and powerful name.  Thank you Lord for the peace that you give me.  Thank you Lord for your wings that protect me.  Lord thank you for the safety that you provide me.  Oh Lord, I need you.  Oh Lord I need you to fill me with your love, peace, wisdom and strength.  Help me to defeat the enemy oh Lord.  I pray this in your mighty, and all powerful name. Oh Lord hear my prayer. 


Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. … The Lord Almighty is with us.


Running, running as fast as my little legs can take me, I fall, I am breathless.  The enemy is winning in my sleep but i will not let him conquer my slumber anymore.  I will have victory over him.  I will have victory.  God is my fortress.  I will defeat him.  I will defeat him.  I WILL DEFEAT HIM FOR GOD IS WITH ME.


I woke up feeling helplessly shaken, and shocked, and frightened, screaming.  It felt so very real, very real.  That it chook my inner core.  Always when I have such a bad nightmare, I am frightened to go out.  Frightened to leave my room.  Frightened of the dark shadows that seem to lure me to come.  Frightened to go outside.  Every shadow, every little thing makes me jump and I am shaking like a helpless little leave. Vulnerable and alone.  Alone and vulnerable…. No! Wait – let me rephrase that.  Vulnerable and united with God and with all my prayer warriors to conquer the enemy.  And we  will HAVE victory.  Victory is ours, the enemy WILL BE defeated.   I have to be gently reminded that its just a bad dream and that God is the lover of my soul and that He will keep me safe.  I have to remind myself that God is love and that even if I have nightmares, that I will not sink completely into the lions angry jaws. 


As a young Christian in my teenage years I always read psalm 91 before I went to bed. 


Psalm 91

Whomever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say to the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Surely he will save you from the fowlers snare and from the deadly pestilence.  He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness nor the plague that destroys at midday.  A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.  You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.  If you say ‘The Lord is my refuge’ and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.  For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.  You will tread on the lion and cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.  Because she loves me, says the Lord, ‘I will rescue her, I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name.  She will call on me, and I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble, I will deliver her and honour her.  With long life I will satisfy her and show her my salvation.


I would pray this every day for a long time every night before I would go to bed.  So that the enemy would not attack me.  Some nights the enemy won, but when the enemy won, I know that I wasn’t alone, that God was with me throughout it.  Even if it wasn’t being stopped.  I prayed so that I would not get hurt.  Though i am safe now, the enemy has its methods of scaring me and tries to lure me into his lies.  It will not work.  I will not let the enemy win.  I am loved.  I am loved.  Hannah you are loved.  You are wonderfully made in the secret parts of your mother’s womb. Hannah you are loved.  Hannah believe in yourself whispers the Lord to my heart.


My prayer for today is: Dear Lord, please deliver me from all evil, Lord please deliver me from the enemy’s angry glare.  Lord please deliver me from his futile attempts at trying to lure me away from your amazing LOVE and GRACE. Thank you Lord for your love.  Thank you for loving me, Hannah, a sinner not worthy of your love, and yet you love me.  Thank you Lord for your wisdom and guidance. Thank you for letting me dwell safely under your wings where I find my refuge.  Lord, I pray for all those who are troubled in spirit and that you may give them comfort and peace.  Lord, I pray for people who are being attacked by the enemy and that your peace will come once more. It is certainly  my heart’s desire to have peace again.  To feel safe in your arms.  O Lord hear my prayer.  Lord hear me as I seek you.  More Jesus.  More Jesus.  More Jesus.   Come Holy Spirit.  Come Holy Spirit fill me up with more of you.  Help me O Lord to seek you more deeply, help me to follow you O Lord hear my prayer.  Thank you Lord for your love.  You are worthy Lord.  I love you Lord, I will worship you Lord all my days.  I will give you my all O Lord, hear my prayer. O Lord, hear my prayer.  I pray, I seek your presence, I seek your wisdom. O Lord hear me as I cry out to you.  Hear my prayer O Lord. Thank you Lord Jesus.  I pray that you will give peace and comfort to all of my friends and all those who are in trouble.  I pray healing over the sick in your Almighty name. I am no longer trapped in silence nor am I a prisoner of my mind, but I am free within you.  You are my God and you are worthy of all the praise in the world.  Thank you Lord for not giving up on me. Thank you for forgiving me my sins O Lord.  Thank you for forgiving me.


Proverbs 29:25

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.


Lord, please give me strength as I face today, and help me to seek your word more deeply.  O Lord help me please to be a blessing to others, and that your presence may fill this house as I host the prayer today.  Lord let it be a powerful session.  O Lord, fill this house with your holy spirit so that we may know Your presence O Lord hear my prayer.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to pray with my prayer warriors and the ones that cannot attend but are with me in spirit.  Thank you O Lord for your everlasting grace.  O Lord, thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  Thank you. Thank you.  O Lord, I pray this in your Most Almighty and Wonderful name.  In your most precious name I pray.  Amen.


Dear Reader, if you are struggling today, please put your focus on the cross and pour your heart out at the foot of the cross. We are all united in prayer.  TogetherUnited.  The Lord your God is your refuge and you shall be safe.  Seek him, and he will be present in your life.  Allow yourself to be vulnerable to him, allow yourself to bare your emotions nakedly at the cross.  I pray that you may have a wonderful day in Christ Jesus.  Be safe and stay blessed.


Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

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