As a child I would daydream a lot. I would daydream about what a nice happy family life would be like/ look like. I would romanticise this.  I don’t anymore. Because I don’t see a point. When my family life … Continue reading →

When I am sad, my first reflex is too write. I learned to do this after my son died.  I remember doing it because I wanted to document those emotions. I wanted to remind myself what those early days felt … Continue reading →

I watch the day merge into night, night into dawn. It’s another sleepless night. I wake feeling emotionally wrung out.  Insecure of who I am meant to be.  Close to tears because sleep is an unpleasant activity plagued by endless … Continue reading →

It’s hard for me to fall asleep. They say people with ADHD or ADD struggle to sleep… ever since I remember sleep is like a war-zone.  I am on this battlefield fighting it. Trying to let  my body relax seems … Continue reading →

What happens When the memories crash and floodgates open? Anxiety rises. He’s lurking behind the shadows Of every nightmare, of ever haunted memory Of every moment in my day He seems to know how to control me Knows how to … Continue reading →

Reader, I started running again.  The flesh doesn’t want to run, the spirit is willing. Today was my second run of the week. My aim is to build up to 4 times a week. Wonder where I will fit all … Continue reading →

The migraine storm is over. It has passed on.  Thank God.  I don’t know how.  It was a slow build up into the migraine storm. Extreme tiredness.   Nausea all week.  Headaches on and off before the hurricane wrecks havoc in … Continue reading →

Dear Mr B, I don’t tend to write open letters especially to you, and especially with such a vulnerable topic. But I have been challenged to write something down. Perhaps something of a closure? Or the beginning of the end … Continue reading →

As I stand under the shower, I let the hot rain drop onto my figure, pounding down hard, fast, as I stand, and lapse into deep thought once again. A trance has come over me as the water echoes, lurches … Continue reading →

I wrote this piece 11 years ago when I was a university student in Cardiff.  I unearthed it recently or rather a good university friend of mine found it and had sent it to me via email.  I don’t really … Continue reading →