Maybe it’s All Just a Dream Maybe it’s all just a bad dream like the moment they told me that my son’s heart was no longer beating.  Or the moment that he came out of my body with a quiet … Continue reading →

Today I am hurting.  I don’t know why I am hurting.  I can just feel this rising panic engulfing every part of my very being.  Feeling the fear rise.  Feeling as if I am sinking into a bed with hot … Continue reading →

My Dearest Sebby, A caterpillar transformed into a butterfly and flew to Heaven.  Thank God you will never understand the sufferings of day to day life, and that sometimes living life can be such a difficult trial.   But through trials … Continue reading →

Can you love me? With all my faults angst fear: of rejection of abandonment. That plagues my soul and seems to drown me at times in the thick slushy sand. I lay my soul bare for you to see I lay … Continue reading →

A lot of this is probably just gibberish.  I am just trying to make sense of what is happening in my world.  Largely the fact that i am not sure how to cope with long silences.  For a long time … Continue reading →

It is now the marathon before Sebastian’s 2nd birthday.  My birthday is coming up, then my son’s.  My life changed forever two years ago, and I am not sure how much more I can take. Death always seems to be … Continue reading →

This probably sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself.  Probably I am.  I don’t really care to tell you the truth.  I just feel at this current moment like the whole world is against me, and by writing it … Continue reading →