Today I am hurting.  I don’t know why I am hurting.  I can just feel this rising panic engulfing every part of my very being.  Feeling the fear rise.  Feeling as if I am sinking into a bed with hot … Continue reading →

My Dearest Sebby, A caterpillar transformed into a butterfly and flew to Heaven.  Thank God you will never understand the sufferings of day to day life, and that sometimes living life can be such a difficult trial.   But through trials … Continue reading →

Can you love me? With all my faults angst fear: of rejection of abandonment. That plagues my soul and seems to drown me at times in the thick slushy sand. I lay my soul bare for you to see I lay … Continue reading →

A lot of this is probably just gibberish.  I am just trying to make sense of what is happening in my world.  Largely the fact that i am not sure how to cope with long silences.  For a long time … Continue reading →

It is now the marathon before Sebastian’s 2nd birthday.  My birthday is coming up, then my son’s.  My life changed forever two years ago, and I am not sure how much more I can take. Death always seems to be … Continue reading →

This probably sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself.  Probably I am.  I don’t really care to tell you the truth.  I just feel at this current moment like the whole world is against me, and by writing it … Continue reading →

Simply overwhelmed.  Painfully broken. Depleted. Heart shattering.  Emotions haywire.  Lost in a world of brokenness.  Lost in thought.  Clinging onto the cross.  Cleanse me from the inside out oh God.  Purify my heart.  Darkness weaves in and out into shapes beyond … Continue reading →

Heart crashing, falling, breaking Slow motion ka boom The pain, the sadness Crash boom ka boom   Emotions spilling over the River banks flooding Everything in its wake My sorrow carved into bark   Breaking Struggling To Catch Breath   … Continue reading →

Do you sometimes feel like when you are together all as a family that you are lonely?  That somehow you don’t fit in.  That everyone seems to be against you?  I have been told that I am ‘too sensitive’ sometimes.  … Continue reading →