Simply overwhelmed. Painfully broken. Depleted. Heart shattering. Emotions haywire. Lost in a world of brokenness. Lost in thought. Clinging onto the cross. Cleanse me from the inside out oh God. Purify my heart. Darkness weaves in and out into shapes beyond my imagination stuck like glue – an unwanted presence. Constricting pain. Contracting in and out, plaguing my left side. Rejected. Unloved. Abandoned. Casted away. Unimportant. Forgotten.
Left on the outskirts of the world. Hannah is different. Hannah does not fit the box neatly. Avoidance. Lonely. Always alone. Always walking this lonely path by herself. Always the odd one out. Black sheep wherever Hannah goes. Breathe in and out Hannah. Relax. The Lord is your Shepard.
Slumber world’s beckoning hand is whispering gently in my ears. Close your eyes Hannah. No energy. No motivation. Just this empty void that engulfs me like a warm winter glove, gently stroking my cheek as I drift in and out of the dream world. Help me Lord please, to focus my eyes on you.
Gone are the easy days of childhood, landing firmly into a world of responsibility. Responsibility all around. Caring for the broken-hearted. Supporting the broken people. Supporting the unwanted of this world. The misfits. The forgotten ones. Like me. Forgotten into the endless seams of love. Support given freely, blessings giving freely. But where do I fit in all of this? Where do I belong? When will I be remembered? Will I ever be remembered? Or forgotten?
Timeless time flutters away, and my heart constricts in my chest as the silent tears roll down my face. Sleep’s welcoming gloved hand gently strokes me into a fitful slumber. God’s warm embrace is felt around my body as I sink into his everlasting arms of love. He is my strength, my shield, my rock in times of trouble, and in times of joy. To Him I will cling.