Where has time gone?
What have I achieved?

Today is a sensitive day for me. With a week to go before your 6th Birthday I reflect on all that I have missed out on. And yet I also rejoice with the Lord that you are in heaven sitting with our Father God. You were perfect. God made you perfect. He had mercy on you – so that you did not need to go through the trials and tribulations of life here on earth. But selfishly I miss you greatly. I miss who you could have become.

Towards the end of 2019 leading into 2020 my life changed drastically. As I reflect over my post from last year I see what my silent prayer was…

Will I ever be a wife again? A mother again? Will God give me another chance or have I missed my opportunity?

So much has happened this year and the end of last year. I faced obstacles. I faced challenges. I have had so much laughter this year. So much joy, and for that I am truly very thankful. I have met someone in September and we started going out together in December. He is the real deal. Gentle and kind. Compassionate. Encouraging. Has so much empathy for the broken. Has a heart of gold. I am truly thankful Lord. Truly thankful for the gift that you have given me. Thank you for beginning to answer my prayers from last year.

My prayer this year is Dear Adonai, please guide us to when you want us to marry. Please make the date absolutely clear. Let me be a wife Lord, let me be a mother again. Thank you Lord for caring. Thank you so much for bringing so much joy into my life amidst the challenges. Thank you for caring and giving me a resilient heart. I trust you and I surrender all that I am to you.

And so as I face another year I know that I have peace. I am at peace knowing that you are in the right place. I have a purpose. I have some exciting news too. My second book Hope Restored is due to be either published in December of this year or early spring of 2021. I am so excited It is through losing you my precious son that I am able to write and reach out to the broken-hearted. It is a big thank you to L. for encouraging me to write again and to pursue the book instead of letting it collect dust on the shelf. It seems the right time too – what with Covid-19 and all that it brings. I know that the book has encouraged a couple of people. Thank you Lord for giving me words to share. Thank you heavenly Father.

As I journey on my motto is Look up towards God and know that He is nearby. Amen.