‘Dear Head. You Win. But can you leave my stomach out of it?’

Lately, I have hit a tough spot. My migraines are a lot worse than what they used to be. I used to be able to manage them, but now I cannot manage them at all. They get so bad, that as soon as I wake up, my stomach gets involved. Nausea hits in all the wrong places. And I am dizzy. The room is spinning. And the only thing that seems to help is a dark cool room. How I wish there was a cure for migraines. But at the moment there seems to be no cure, at least not for me.

I have given up caffeine. I have given up a lot of stuff. I take preventative medication each night in a desperate bid to stop the migraine in its track. I take other supplements in the morning and evening to help boost my immune system to see if that will make a difference. But nothing seems to be touching the migraine. Nothing seems to be taking away that horrible sensation when it arrives. The realisation that the migraine has rudely interrupted my life and once more my life is put on hold as I fight another vicious battle to survive the day.

I no longer know what to do because these migraines are so bad. Not even the medication that the doctors prescribe help combat it. I either have to go into hospital now to get treatment to stop Mr Migraine in it’s tracks or have an ambulance come to my place and put an injection inside of me to stop the nausea and the pain, because without I am a lost cause. It feels like my head is going to shatter into a million tiny pieces.

Often I don’t know if the head pain or the nausea or the dizziness is worse. just cannot tell anymore. But they seem to go hand in hand. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to my early twenties where the migraines were less intense. Why are they more intense now? What can I do to stop them from becoming worse? I am desperate for a cure. Does anyone know what can be done to stop them in their track? Even medication doesn’t work because nothing stays in my shattered body.

The days after a migraine are long and painful. I am exhausted. I feel like I have been hit by a train. Like I have ran a long hard marathon. My body aches. Noises hurt my head. Everything hurts. And all I can do is move forward slowly. Hoping, that it will be the last attack. But knowing that the next attack is around the corner. They seem to have increased.

What if it is not a migraine and more than a migraine? Who do I turn to? I can only turn to God, the source of comfort. My guiding light. What if these headaches are more sinister than just headaches?