Psalm 130.5 – I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.
To hope is a risky business. But what if God’s greatest gift this Christmas for me is hope? What if God wants me to hope again? Do I take God’s hand and hope and trust for a brighter future, because after all I am a daughter of a king and I know that God loves me unconditionally.
There is a peace this Christmas that I’ve not had for years and I want to draw closer to God and drink in His goodness. I want to love freely like Jesus did. I want to be a blessing to all the people that cross my path. I want to be a light in this dark place. I want the light of Christ to shine through me. I want to cast all my brokenness and put on the armour of God and love freely. I do not want to to be afraid of the future. I do not want the past to hold me in chains.
But somehow this new hope is scary. It is another step of faith. Without hope I’m lost. Can I hope? Is it safer to hope than not to?
Without hope and faith can we improve ourselves to be better people? Without hope, without faith, without love we cannot be over-comers. God came so that we may ALL have eternal life. So that we may ALL have HOPE in this dark world. Without hope we have no desires to be met, but with hope comes dreams, comes desires that only God can fulfil.
The question is will I allow myself to hope again? Will I allow myself to take that risk again to love others freely as God loves us? Or will fear stop me? Will I hide in my cage for the rest of my life? Or will I become a cage-less bird and take that risk? It seems to me that this Christmas God’s already given me the greatest gift – hope. I thought that I’d lost it, that it was gone. I walked this past year with just a faint glimmer persevering in believing though I did not see. Taking it day by day, step by step. Though I felt everything slipping by. Not really wanting to make a commitment I stayed in my comfort zone. However, still trusting even though I did not see, and I did not feel, and I did not really have hope.
Hebrews 11.1 – Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
2020 is a year that I want to live out and not walk in a daze. Most of this year seems to be a blur and I don’t remember much. Trauma shut down my mind so that I’d not remember. I want from this day forward to really walk in faith, to really draw alongside God and spend more time with him. More time in prayer, more time reading His word, worshipping him and knowing that there is a hope so sure, that God is in control of my life. Everything He’s done so far has lead me to this point.
Is there hope after death? Is there hope after being broken down by people? Is there hope where the dreams and desires that were – were ridiculed, stolen – can they be rekindled? Is there hope for those that feel worthless and yet deep down know their value and worth comes from God? Is healing possible without hope and faith? Or is hope and faith needed for healing? I’ve come to know that hope and faith are a necessary ingredient to be fully healed.
Put on the armour of God, and believe, really believe that all things are possible by the grace of God and in his timing alone, God will make a way.
Hope rekindled and I feel deeply at peace with all of what God has planned for my future. Nothing has happened by accident. I will be the woman of God that God wanted me to be.
I will risk and take hope, and not live in a daze anymore.