Philippians 4.19 – And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
Maybe I landed for the time being. Maybe I didn’t. Who knows? I arrived on the Isle of Wight yesterday. I was totally overwhelmed and anxious about what the future holds. But since arriving I feel a bit more peaceful. A bit more relaxed about what the future holds for me. Maybe this was a good decision. And if it wasn’t the right choice God will make it clear to me in time by his grace who knows? For now I guess I can say that I am approaching water fast, and that I will be here for the time being. That I will stay here for the time being.
I don’t know how things will work out for me. I don’t know if I will have the finances to keep myself afloat. But I am learning to take everything as it comes. Step by step. Rather then worrying about what tomorrow holds. God is faithful and will provide for my needs (somehow) as he has done in the past. So, I am choosing to place my trust in him.
Am I at a peace? Do I even know what peace means? To a certain degree I feel peaceful, I suppose. I still have a lot of anxiety about staying here. But I am thankful that the Lord has opened the door for me. The past months haven’t been easy for me. They have been challenging, and no doubt I will be faced with more challenges. But one thing I know is that my feet are firmly planted on the ground and things will be OK in his good timing. It is just a matter of time…. And if it doesn’t work out I still have a back-up plan. I still have other options, so I am not overly worried or concerned. The last months have taught me to be patient, to trust the Lord even when the going gets tough. Admittedly I haven’t always shown a godly attitude throughout this. It is a challenge after all. Life is full of challenges. I guess it is how we react to them.. I am learning to my challenges in a different way then to what I am used to doing. Usually, I would opt for the easy option. Go for security and comfort over risk. This time I took a risk.
The one thing I do miss in the past months is my spiritual father. My mentor. The person who has helped me to reach my potential over the last two years, the person who has supported me. Of course, there are others now who have come into this circle of trust, others who believe in my potential, and I am grateful, because I am not alone anymore in the challenges that I have to face, and this is by the grace of God. Hallelujah. But I think, if only I could meet up with my spiritual father on a more regular basis rather than once every year or so, life would be different… But I cherish the moments I do have with my spiritual father and others who have shown me what unconditional love is all about. Thank you.