Diary: Day 29-30 – A Walk on Water

Philippians 3.14 – I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I was really tired yesterday. Walking around the house in a zombie-like state. Tired. But OK.  More peaceful over the last two days, then the previous two days when I experienced restlessness, frustration and anger.  Spending a lot of time in the sanctuary, pouring out my frustrations, anger out, and in that safe place where all my frustration and anger is poured out – God meets me and comforts me.

I have filled in an application form to study Christian Counselling somewhere. I am praying that God will open that door for me. And if he doesn’t want me there, that I would get a rejection e-mail. Even though I am tired of rejection e-mails! I figure if God wants me to do the course that he will open the door, make a way, and that everything else will fall into place. Who knows? I feel hopeful about this venture. But I am not putting my hope in this one thing. I am keeping my options open.

I am learning to rest. I am learning not to think about certain things obsessively. Like I need a job. I am learning to hear what God wants me to do and not what I want to do. Not what I think that I need to do… To rest is hard. Being is hard. But to spend time with the Lord is a wonderful thing.  It brings joy to my heart. It brings peace to my heart. So, I trust. I seek the Lord, and I wait.

Life can be challenging, but when you have a relaxed attitude towards it, things can be easier. Things can work out.  If you listen to what God wants you to do then things will fall into place. But as a Christian, whether part of a community, church, or whatever, we are each sent to a specific section of the wall to work on that wall…

My hope is in God. Amen.

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