Diary: Day 11 – A Walk on Water

Psalm 94.19 – When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

When you live with the ebb and flow of anxiety on a daily basis, it can sometimes be a challenge to manage your haywire feelings. You constantly doubt yourself. You shrink away from new adventures, you can’t embrace the future because the undercurrent of anxiety is like a cancer that is dancing around your soul.

People think it’s easy to cast away anxiety, but ones that have lived without it for years don’t realise how challenging it is to fight it. I am aware that it is a stronghold in my life. I have already had some counselling for it, and I am seeking more. Just this past week every day I am battling the rising tide of emotions, of unknowns, of uncertainties.

In three days time I will be sitting at the airport waiting to depart Dublin. I thought originally that God opened doors here for me. I thought he opened many doors here for me. It turns out I was wrong. He closed every door except one. An opportunity to minister with a couple who live here.

I feel dejected and disappointed. I had high hopes but they one by one died, as the doors I tried pushing open remained closed. So, now I am off on a new adventure and I have to learn to embrace it. Please pray for me that I will stay focused and positive on the blessings that I do have from God. Please pray me through this. I cannot do this without your support.

I will get through this. But I am weary of all the changes that have taken place in my life, and I am keen to settle. I am keen to stay in one place rather than having the upheaval of moving all the time.

Help me Lord please to embrace this new season. Amen

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