Theres a little boy that goes on my bus daily. He’s about 3 years old. His mother takes him to kindergarten. This image reminds me of what i’d be doing with my son if he had lived…… It makes me smile because at least this lady didn’t lose hers but mainly it makes me sad because I see what i have lost and all that could have been if Sebastian hadn’t died. I find that as Christmas approaches that i miss my son more and i sink into the barren desert sand of grief again. It’s like clockwork. If only i could have had a chance to be a mum to my little boy… If only i could see him smile, hear his laugh, hear his voice… And have a cuddle from him… Only i am left with the memories of lost dreams, lost hopes of all that i could have done with him… If only he could see me now and know how hard i am trying to pick myself up again…. I miss you my boy and i love you…