3rd Letter to My Future Husband

Dear Life-Partner,

I just want to say first of all that my Father only lets me date royalty! By that I mean – He wants me to date a godly man.  Someone who will care about me, appreciate me, love me, laugh with me.  You will feel that connection on a deeper level and then you will know – she is the one for me.

Tomorrow I start my new job. I am embracing the situation. Looking forward to a new challenge in my life, and choosing to believe that God’s watching out for me. That the job He choose for me, is so that I can learn new things for my future ministry.   So that I can learn new skills. That this is a stepping stone – towards me going into full-time ministry which is what I believe He wants me to do.  He wants me to help the broken-hearted, he wants me to help the lost, the bewildered, the confused, the suicidal, the fatherless, the grieving.  He wants me to show them a way out of that darkness.

Since arriving at my new destination a week ago, I feel like I am in limbo.  Wondering, waiting to see what will happen next.  At the same time I am overwhelmed by the care and generosity of some people I have met since arriving. Transition is not always an easy time for me, I find it challenging at the best of times.  I find it hard, because it is out of my comfort zone, and I don’t do well out of my comfort zone.  But I suppose everyone struggles out of their comfort zone… Or perhaps some thrive in it? Who knows?!

Sometimes, when I go walking in the afternoons for a breath of fresh air, I day dream and I wonder what it would be like to meet you, to know that you are out there somewhere also trusting God to bring us together in His perfect timing. It is all about patience.  Of having GEDULD.  Which I don’t have much off…

Admittedly, a year ago I wasn’t interested in getting married.  I didn’t want children.  I was happy being alone, and I gave up the desire to have children again.  Only this year God gave me the desire back… I wonder why?  And now I have to trust Him to lead me to you, or you to me. However you want to see it that way.

I value honesty, and I value security, a safety net, support.  I may be occasionally more vulnerable than the average woman. I had my fair share of troubles and only now learning to see that God uses trials and tribulations to draw us closer to Him.  Some people may have more tribulations and trials than others, and I believe God uses those people to go into ministry.

If I were to ever meet you, you would have to be fully supportive of my call into full-time ministry. You’d have to be supportive of my writing career, and of the fact that I want to pursue a counselling degree, and become a Christian counsellor eventually.   I would support you with whatever you feel like the Lord is leading you to.

You would also have to be a bible believing Christian, someone who believes in a compassionate God.  Not a legalistic God. But a compassionate God.  A bible-believing Christian that will refuse the Mark of the Beast, when and if we are faced with such a situation, we will have to live self-sustainably.

I would love to know what you are like. Do you sing? Do you make jokes? What kind of job do you do?  What are your hobbies?  And what is your relationship like with God? Do you have any children?  In my first letter I detailed that I had 3 children but they are all in heaven.  How do you embrace challenges in your life? How do you embrace transition in your life?  How do you respond to stress in your life?

Over the months I have had to learn not to be so anxious anymore.  I can get very anxious.  After my son died nearly 3 years ago, I became a very anxious person.  Whenever something goes wrong, I feel like everything is going wrong.  I feel then like I am losing control.  Recently, I have learnt to overcome it to a certain degree, and learnt to appreciate that I can’t worry about tomorrow, because I have no control over it.  So whats the point?  God sees the bigger picture but we don’t.

I trust that wherever you are that you are OK, and that you are at peace. Know that I am praying for you.  May you continue to seek the Lord’s will daily in your life.

Yours,

Hannah

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