Migraine crisis aborted mid-strike. 4 am, the familiar pounding presence of a stabbing knife stuck inside my head. Pounding. Thumpty thump thump. Relentless pounding. I knew if I didn’t react and just try and sleep that it would escalate rapidly. Fumbling around in the dark, searching for rescue remedy and a bottle of water, I swallow my pills to cease the migraine attack. I float into a deep slumber with the nagging migraine tagging along. Never relenting, always close by. Why? Why oh why do I suffer from migraines? Why do they come to plague me in the early hours of the morning robbing me of precious sleep? Rarely do they start during the day.
I just want to die. I can’t bear the pain. The pain trapping me an endless cycle of hopelessness. An endless cycle of feeling like a failure. Of feeling like I am a lost cause. I slowly place my hands on my forehead and I pray: Lord, please no more migraines. Lord, please cleanse me from this dreaded attack. Lord, please no more pain. Not today. Not ever. As I pray the Lord eases me into a comfortable sleep.
The pounding eases. Sleep comes. A God dream ensues. Turning my despair into hope. Turning my discouragement into encouragement. Helping me to see that there is hope even when it doesn’t feel that way. The Lord is with me wherever I go. He speaks to me. He whispers His love in my ears. He tells me that I am safe. That I am looked after. That He will look after me, no matter what. That He will make a way even when there seems to be no way. The Lord envelops me as I relax in the face of a migraine. As I learn to battle the migraine before it escalates into a hurricane wrecking havoc in my life.
I wake up, the severe pounding a distant memory. Left with a residue. A soft pounding in my head is a small price to pay for the loud pounding that can come with a vengeance. Hallelujah. Praise the Lord! – For the release of a migraine attack. For the peace that ensues thereafter. For a glimpse into my future. Praise the Lord for His peace that surpasses all understanding.
Praise the Lord for His many blessings. For His many provisions, for His daily miracles. It is well with my soul. It is well, and the Lord has a plan for my future. I do not need to be afraid. Thank you Lord. And I now know, that I do not need to suffer the agonising head pain. I just have to keep battling it till it returns to its vicious void. Till it returns no more to me. Healing occurs and I am whole once more!