I have noticed an increase in the level of migraines I have been getting.  The previous week I was off work for 9 days (holiday).  No headaches. No migraines. I come back to work this week and the pain, the one sided pain in my head begins once more.

Pain and more pain. Needless pain.  Unable to function on a normal level the pain keeps me awake at night as i battle against the onslaught of migraines.  And a whirlpool of emotions that come with it. Needless to say if I don’t experience migraines on the weeks that I am off – then there must be something wrong at work.  Or it is the stress of a very difficult job, a job that overwhelms you and you have to watch your back every second in case someone decides to escalate you for no reason other then that they don’t like you.  They don’t like how you are dressed, or how you look or simply a personality clash.

So here I am sitting at work, nursing a near full blown migraine.  Somehow I am still functioning.  But I wonder how long for? How many more migraines do I need to get before I realize that the job I am in is slowly killing all my brain cells???!!!!

And along with the migraines – I am feeling increasingly dizzy.  Perhaps its with the new glasses I am wearing, or I am back in work.  I have always felt somewhat dizzy when I am in work. Almost as if all these things are warning bells.  Must find a new job soon.  Must find a new job soon.  Perhaps, I will.  Realizing the fact that I have had about 2 migraines this week and 3 headaches of which one was mild and I was able to cope with it.  And no I haven’t eaten cheese this week so that is not the cause to my migraines..

Right now I feel like there is a knife plunged deep into my brain as my brain expands and constricts.  And I am just trying to hold my head in my hands, trying to breathe.  Trying to believe that this pain will disappear one day, and I will no longer have to suffer from constricting one sided pain.. I am feeling rather weak and wondering how much longer this will last.  How much longer will I be able to cope with all the stress factors in my life?

A relaxed attitude lengthens a person’s life.. Proverbs 14.30

Perhaps I should take a different approach to life, and be more relaxed about the little crisis that hit every day and look for a lesson in each crisis that comes our way instead of stressing about iy, relax about it because there is nothing that can be done to change it in that moment.  Who knows?!