With 10 days to go before my son’s second birthday, I am reflecting how life has changed since his death. I am anxious about how I will celebrate his life. How do you celebrate someone’s life that has been gone longer then he was with you? How do you carry on with the pain in your heart? How is it even possible to love this tiny little boy so much despite only ever knowing him from within the womb? How is it possible to have such a deep longing ache for your child whom you never got to hold or meet in person. Its heartbreaking to tell you the truth. I wonder every day how he looks like, what he would be doing now. What the sound of his laughter is. I wonder how much I have achieved or not achieved. How on earth did I get through the last two years without him in my life? How many waves I have been on. Crashing. Clinging on. Learning to move forward whilst not forgetting him. To balance the two is a very difficult thing. The song helps sooth the warring emotions inside my broken heart. Yes, I miss my sweet darling boy, and I wish he was here. But i guess if he didn’t die, the blog would not have been birthed, and I would not be helping or impacting other people’s lives. I hope I am helping others through my words, through my story, through my faith.
Please leave a comment and let me know what you think of this song! Once again thanks Jules Riding for writing the music for the words. Lyrics by me
Source: Sebby’s Song