Dear Life-Partner (15)

Dear Life-Partner,

I haven’t written in a while. I have moments where I write more than other days.  And it seems like I am going through a relatively quiet period where I am not writing as much as I would like. I don’t always like writing these letters but there always seems to be a nudge for me to write. So I write and it helps me to put my thoughts into perspective. Or at least I think it does.

A lot has happened since I last wrote you. The last time I wrote I was approaching my son’s fourth birthday. It passed by peacefully, with a wonderful send off.  I stood by the river with my adopted family.  I say adopted family because even though we are not related by blood we are technically speaking family. If that makes sense. A few scriptures were read out loud and we prayed at the river and released flowers.  It was a very special occasion. And I am grateful that I did not have to do it alone.

I had several job interviews over the last couple of months and one resulted in me being offered a job. I gratefully accepted and have just completed my second week of work. Challenging in many ways, but as usual I have to commit each challenge to the Lord and trust that he will lead me onwards and upwards.

I am studying to become a trained counsellor. I am in my third month in the training. A work in progress. Last week Saturday I had an all day course for counselling and we had to practice our advanced skills. I was told I excelled in the area of advanced empathy but didn’t do so well on the basic level empathy stage because I didn’t verbalise it as much. And I seem to cut over people when I talk.  But that I have known for years. I do that so that I don’t lose my train of thoughts.  I seem to lose a thought by the time I can say something. I need to find a way not do that.  So, I am more aware of it now, and have to press my mouth firmly shut if I have the urge to say something. I then try and bullet point my thought down on paper before it goes away into a timeless void.

I suffer from migraines.  When I get really tired i.e. over-exhausted, or stressed or something else triggers it – I get a really bad migraine and then I can’t do anything. I am totally zonked out and wish that pain like that doesn’t exist. It is truly an awful experience.  I am a frequent sufferer of migraines.  It is like one of my regular companions unfortunately. But it is a part of who I am I guess.  Would you be able to cope with someone who has regular migraines?

I am going out tonight to watch a performance in a theatre. I can’t wait. Since moving to this foreign and distant land I seem to be more socially active than ever before in my life. Although staying that Slovakia was similar. I was very social there to a certain degree. But I am here too. It feels right to keep busy, to do stuff for the Lord.

Winter has arrived and hasn’t arrived. Winter is different here to what I am used to.  It is not cold cold like Slovakia/Germany.  But it’s cold and wet.  Damp. And this cold seems to reach my bones a lot quicker than the dry cold of Slovakia/Germany. How I miss the snowy days of my childhood and young adulthood life. I love snow. I love winter because it gives this sense of wholeness. This sense of completeness that seems to be missing in other seasons. Everyone sits together around the table or sofa in front of a cosy fire or whatever and just snuggles in and shares what is on their heart. Truly a special feeling.

I pray for you, whoever you are and I pray that you have a good and solid relationship with the Lord. I pray that you believe in prayer.  I wonder if you worship the Lord and if you like worshipping the Lord. If God is your number one? I wonder if our paths have crossed already? I trust that you are well and that you are seeking the Lord’s presence on a daily basis and following the desires of your heart.

Anyways must go now and work on my essay for school.

Praying for you as always.

With all my love,
hannah xxx

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