My name is Hannah C Fairchild. In a few short weeks I will be 27, still single, still alone. Still childless though I have 3 children in heaven. I am a poet. A writer. A mother. The daughter of a king. I believe in a compassionate God. A God of grace. A God of love. A God of mercy. My God is a compassionate God, not a legalistic God. And I believe He heals our broken hearts, and guides us throughout life’s crises but not just the crises in life, but also beside still waters.
Where am I now? I am in between countries. In transition. Ready to embark on the next stage in my life. Ready to embrace it, rather than run from it. With difficulty I have to accept the new lot in my life, and trust that the good Lord will show me a way forward through the maze of transition. Transition can be a scary place sometimes. It is full of the unknown. But I do have a choice. Do I face it and trust the Lord to show me the way forward or do I shrink away in fear from it? What should I do? I learnt that shrinking away from fear is only going to hinder me from reaching my full potential.
I don’t know why I have decided to start writing letters to my future life-partner. It seems to make sense? Maybe it doesn’t make sense. I guess I am ready to embrace whatever God has in store for me next. Ready to embark on a road that will lead me onto endless possibilities. Possibilities that I never imagined.
I will write occasionally, detailing my hopes for a future. A future that God has prepared for me. In the last three months I have learnt a lot about God’s grace, God’s peace, God’s joy, and being a delight to others. For a long time I was uncertain about what the future had in store for me, I was unsure about the endless possibilities that laid before me. I was uncertain about my worth, about who I was in Christ. But through a journey that I went on, I learnt a lot about myself, a lot about God, and I have hope for a brighter future now.
God introduced me to someone unique, someone who had a similar background to me, and showed me my potential, showed me that I am able to achieve beyond my wildest dreams. I didn’t think that I would be able to achieve anything, but the Lord always brings people at the right time to us to show us our worth, who we are in Christ’s image, who we can become for the glory of God’s kingdom. If it wasn’t for this man’s love and gentle guidance – the question would be – where would I be with my life now? Would I have made any progress at all? Or would I have been stuck somewhere neither moving forward or backwards. Just stuck in this empty vacuum. It was because this one person in my life showed that he cared enough to see me reach my full potential, that I was able to move forward, with a certain grace, and humbly before the Lord. That I was able to publish my book, and get a taste for ministry.
In the last 3 months something deep within me healed. Something I thought would never be healed. A wound – a gaping 27-year wound, now filled with a father’s love, with acceptance, without judgement, someone who showed me a way forward through the thick meadows of uncertainty. To this person I will always be indebted to. Thank you for showing me God’s love through your eyes.
Ultimately, though I want to serve a loving God. I want to serve my heavenly father, and lead countless people to the cross, where true healing occurs. My long-term goal is to become a full time writer + Christian counsellor. Seems impossible, I am approaching my 27th birthday and only now I know where the Lord wants me to go. But nothing is impossible if we seek the Lord’s presence.
Also, I am praying for my life-partner. Eventually I will meet my life-partner and be able to share the same values with him. Life is about a journey with many twists and turns. I want to share my life with someone, someone who will respect me, and appreciate me for who I am. Someone who will love me, and protect me, and cherish me. Someone who will not shame me, nor shame my name, but will be happy to walk alongside me. Someone that will see through the walls of pain, and anguish, through the walls of endless hurt. Someone who would want to walk through the valleys with me, but also someone who wants to walk the peaks of life with me. Someone who will understand sometimes I need a bit more reassurance than the average woman, but knows that despite all my brokenness I mean well.
So I pray for you every day. And I have a feeling that you may be praying for me every day as well.
Be at peace, til we meet one day.
With love and grace,