Lately I have felt complete peace from the Lord. Fully healed. I feel like a normal person for once in my life. I am learning how to relax. I am learning to enjoy life. I am learning to smile more. I am really a blessed person. I thank God for the peace He has given me in my heart. God is great. God has given me strength to keep on going with life. A few short months ago I wanted to end my life. But somehow I pulled through and came out of it stronger, and filled with more hope, where hope was once unseen; where hope once was buried deep into the hollow holes of trees.
For a long time I was stuck in this barren land, where everything seemed so empty, where everything seemed so far away. I was blessed the other day. I wrote a poem about 18 months ago to my son. It was called a note from Mommy to Sebastian. There was also a response to that poem a note from Sebastian to Mommy. This poem was made into a song by Jules Riding. Just WOW. To be able to hear it to music, really moved me to tears. I am not sure how to describe my emotions regarding that. But it just struck a deep chord within my heart. Something very, very special indeed. It moves me to tears each time. I feel like I didn’t deserve it, but over the last couple of months, God has shown me that I can be loved. That I am special. That I am cared for. That people do care, and that people do want to do things for me.
What more is there to say? What more can one say? I have moments still where deep sadness occurs in my heart. But I know that the deep sadness will pass once more. I know that one day that I will be fully healed. God has his hand on my shoulder, guiding me gentle. Guiding me gently on the right path. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight. Trust God. Believe in God. Be thankful to God, and all things will work out for the good of His Kingdom.
Hope unseen. Walking blindly on the road of faith. I am at a loss for words today. I guess, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for going out of your way to write a song for my son.. I will always appreciate the gesture. Always.