Diary Entry – 27 May 2020

Luke 1.37 – For nothing will be impossible with God.
2 Chronicles 20.20 – Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful.

What do you do when you are faced with an insurmountable mountain? Thinking in all honesty that sometimes it is easier to give up on faith. Sometimes it is easier to walk away from faith. But is it easier? Over the past few weeks, I have wanted to give up on God. But something inside of me said no. I have always believed in God, and I have always believed that God can perform miracles and make a way where there seems to be no way. God is a God of compassion. God is a God of faithfulness. God doesn’t give us anything that we cannot cope with. I have learned in the past weeks that I need to become more dependent on God, and less on my feelings. More dependent on knowing that what God has given is mine – and that the enemy can’t simply forge his way into my life and take it away. The enemy will NOT win. God has been teaching me how to pray in the spirit. An experience I am thoroughly enjoying.

Hebrews 11.1 – Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

God gives us visions. God gives us dreams. When I heard the all is well, be at peace my child – I sighed a relief. God will make a way where there seems to be no way. He is working behind the scenes, preparing everything knowing in our heart that the battle has been won. The strongholds will be pulled down. I know in my heart what God gave me is mine and He wanted to teach me how to pray in the spirit, how to be in tune to the spirit and to fight in a way that I wouldn’t normally fight. I know that when God places people strategically on my journey – some of them people of great wisdom that I have to believe them and have faith in them that what they have heard and seen from the Lord is what will happen. I need to stop doubting and start believing. I need to have a faith and an assurance for the things that I do not see will still come into effect, because the Lord’s way will always prevail over our own feeble ways.

The battle has been won. Those were the words that were spoken to me by a woman of faith. A woman really after God’s own heart. Someone that listens so acutely to the spirit within that it is without a doubt true what she says. I believed in my spirit from the beginning that my relationship with Lee did not come to an end. That the enemy was in between us attacking us from all sides. To a non-Christian they would not understand this in the same way that someone of faith would understand it. I don’t know how to explain it except that God has given me a quiet assurance that everything will work out for the glory of His kingdom and I have hope. I do not doubt. I have faith, though I do not see what will happen, I know what I do not see is to come, because God is in control.

God works in mysterious ways through different people. And is constantly working in the background. I believe with all of my heart that God is fixing my relationship with Lee quietly in the background.

And so I will sit and wait patiently. I will sit in the presence of my Lord and wait for him. Amen