James 1:12 – Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. 

Travelling through the night to a place of refuge reminded me of a time when I left my home six years ago escaping an abusive marriage. Only difference this time round was – I was escaping something else. Was I escaping my own vulnerability? My own woundedness? Or was I creating distance and space because that is what the Lord whispered into my heart.  I knew that I had to leave. It felt final. But I know its not final. I will return in a couple of weeks time and feel refreshed because the Lord will restore all things according to His will and purpose. It was a strange scene. Swiftly loading the car up and driving away into the night. So many thoughts were rushing through my mind. Praying silently. The spirit praying. Learning to be still. Learning to trust the Lord in all things and not to be afraid.

Isaiah 41:10 – So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Until the Lord tells me otherwise, I will not give up on all that He has promised me. I surrender everything to you Father God. I surrender my life to you. I surrender my relationship, my friendship with my life-partner to you. Let your will be done and not mine. God never gave up on us. God teaches us not to give up on others even when the going gets tough. He asks us to surrender our struggles, our lives to Him. The Lord wants to be the first lover of our soul before anything else. I need to learn not to hold onto things so tightly but learn to trust. Learn to believe. Learn to have faith. Learn to live by faith and not sight. Learn to live by faith and not by anxiety. And so I entrust all into the Lord’s hands and believe that He is indeed a miracle worker, a way-maker, a promise keeper. I would be dishonouring God if I walk away from all that He has promised me. So, the Lord says “Be still and know that I am God. Be patient and wait.” So I wait and trust accepting the circumstances I am in and pray continually in my spirit.

I proclaim these things over my life:

1. Fear has no place in my life
2. God is the lover of my soul
3. He feeds me
4. He clothes me
5. I will worship Him all of my days
6. Do not be anxious for anything
7. Have hope and a future
8. God will restore all that He has given us

Our God never wastes anything. Though I may not understand the current situation I find myself in is hard and challenging. I know that the Lord goes ahead of me and will guide me every step of the way. The path is wide and great. It gets narrower and darker. But I know that I’m on the right footpath. God has confirmed this to me with signs over the past months. I carry on, the path will get wider and there will be light at the end of this darkness. God will restore what He has given me.

God wants us to remain authentic no matter the challenges we face in life. If we remain true to what we truly believe that God has given us, He will answer our prayers. He does not want us to walk away because that would mean letting the enemy, the strong holds, the evil spirits to win. God wants us to put our trust in Him, not in man.

Mark 10.9 – Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

God is testing us to see if what we asked for and prayed for in earnest is what we really want. He is testing us to see if we would willing let go of all that we have and go forward in faith knowing and standing firmly on the promise that He has given us.

Hebrews 11.17-19 – By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death.

Lord, I surrender everything to you. My all in all. Forgive me Lord for all my inequities. Forgive me Lord for forgetting the power that you have, and for not always living by faith. I trust you Lord to make a way where there seems to be no way. God knows the way forward through this darkness. Light is always more powerful than darkness. Light will always win over darkness. I know one thing though is that God is love, and God is a compassionate God, and He does not want us to give up on those around us when they are in the middle of a storm. His word says:

1 Corinthians 13.4-8 – Love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Until the Lord tells me otherwise I will continue to choose to love, I will continue to pray and continue to believe and stand firm on His promises. Amen.