I can scarcely believe that the New Year has arrived. Where did the year go? Was my head really in the clouds all this time?
When I think of the year just gone, I saw challenges and depression before me. It had felt very much like my life had imploded on me. I measure the year against the year my son died. On a scale from 1 – 10.. I would say the year was between 8.5 – 9 on the scale. The year my son died I measured it as a 10. But somehow it was easier to deal with. My grief was entitled. The year just gone it seemed I had no real excuse to collapse and cry bitter tears of a bygone era. I often longed for my son to be alive. But he is not. I am here and he is there.
Of course it had its good moments but it had its hard moments. I felt far from God. I cried heaps this year. I still cry. I spent the majority of my summer in hibernation. I slowly picked up my broken puzzle pieces in the latter half of the year. Food became my comfort much like those early days after my son died. The water my haven. The forest my sanctuary.
I can only pray that the year 2019 will bring joy, and pleasant surprises my way. I pray that it will be easier than the last. No more meltdowns. I pray that the dark cloud of depression will leave me at once. It hangs over my shoulder and I wonder when it will go. I pray that God will use me to bless others.
I wonder if I have made a difference in people’s lives over the course of last year. Or has my head been stuck in the clouds of depression for so long that I have missed opportunities?
What was 2018 like for you? Do you have hopes and aspirations for 2019?
May the Lord bless you as we face 2019 with fresh challenges ahead. God bless.