It is 1.05 pm, three years
Since your birth.. and death
But it seems as if it only
Happened hours ago
No longer grief comes
In big crashing waves
More like the ebb and flow
Of an eventide twinkling
Past the dark night
Of my soul
If love could have saved you
You would have lived forever
But love could not save you
Precious boy
Nor could my frantic prayers
That fateful night rescue you
From a destiny I once thought
Worse than DEATH
Except, it isn’t worse than death
It is called Life, eternal Life with
Your heavenly father
What better place to be?
Only God could save you
From the pain of this world
Only God could love you
The way i could not
Though my love for you was not
Enough to keep you alive
I love you dearly, still sweet boy
With your death and birth
A silent dignity followed
A place of grace appeared
Death no longer scares me
Because in my knowledge
I am free, I am saved by
The grace of God
And one day we will
Meet again in Heaven
Your death dear child may have
Been a tragedy but the Lord
Birthed something beautiful
Out of it: a growing ministry
Serving a world of broken people
From the moment
Of your miraculous existence
Inside me
I loved you instantly
I loved you intensely
I loved you
I love you
And I can only dream
Of days gone by
Of a time when you
Were with me
A part of me
Still a part of me
Wondering what it
Would have been like
To hold you in my arms
Hearing your laughter
Wondering what it
Would have been like
To take you to your first
Kindergarten class
Feeling your small arms
Around my neck,
Hearing your innocent laughter
I long to wake you
Each day with a kiss or three
To see you grow into a handsome chap
I know without a doubt
This was God’s good
Perfect and pleasing plan
I have peace
I have accepted your death
As part of God’s bigger picture
Happy Birthday sweet child
I will not forget you, little boy
Nor do I wish to try
I will love you and keep you
Close to my heart
Until my dying breath
Forever yours
Mama
butterfliesreleased 