Behind a Wall of Hurt, there is Risk

People often try and protect themselves from being hurt when they have been hurt in the past.  Each time they get hurt, they build a wall. An extra brick gets cemented onto the already long and wide hall.  The wall with time gets taller and wider, that it becomes a challenge to break free from the chains of emotional trauma, of being afraid to be looked after, of being afraid to be loved, to feel love, to experience love.

For a long time I believed that if I built a large wall around me, no-one could penetrate my soul.  No-one could touch my soul.  No-one could come near me because I believed in a strange way that I was protecting myself from getting hurt.  But the thing I’ve come to realise now is that I am just hurting myself more.  By not letting people to close I end up leading a life of isolation.  I risk becoming an outsider, and when something finally does arrive at my door-step – I run the risk of trying to control it instead of enjoying the moment.

Moments are priceless.  So priceless, that no amount of money can replace those moments.  Those moments of being connected.  Those moments of knowing in that time, in that space I am the person that God wants me to be. Those moments though they may be far and few are the ones that we start to live for, are the ones we start to look forward to.  And in each moment we can learn something, we can learn to be free, we can learn to go with the flow, we can learn to experience the emotion in that moment.  Don’t let your thoughts control you.  Don’t over analyse stuff. Learn to enjoy the moment.  Learn to live in that moment.

Then there is the other side of the coin, if you live constantly behind the wall of hurt, how are you ever going to experience love?  How are you going to ever experience God’s best for you?  Sometimes, love can take you by surprise.  Sometimes moments can blind-side you and make you aware that you are very much alive and serving a wonderful God.  A God of grace. A God of love. A God of compassion.  A God of mercy.  God is everywhere.  God heals the brokenhearted.  God wants us to take a risk, God wants us to be free.  He does not like to see us suffer, He does not like us to build a wall around us so that we cannot be hurt.

I learnt over the last years that in order to be free, in order to take a risk I have to surrender my struggles to the cross.  That I have to surrender them, and believe that God is there watching over me, and that His perfect plan will prevail.  The Lord is good.  The Lord does not want us to worry about what will happen tomorrow, He wants us to focus on the moments.  Moments are priceless. Taking a risk is worth it.  Feeling things, the awakening of your senses is the most amazing feeling that anyone can experience in the world.  Rather than run from it, embrace it.  Don’t let fear rule you.  Don’t let the negative thoughts reign your voice.  Let yourself embrace the moment.  Let yourself be free.  Let yourself learn to trust again.  Let yourself to be free from the pain and hurts of the past.  Surrender it to the cross.

I am a broken woman slaved to sin, but the Lord has set me free.  The Lord has freed me, from a life of pain.  The Lord has shown me that I should not have to worry about tomorrow but to focus on the now, to focus on what I have before me, and to enjoy it.  To enjoy every moment of life.  To live and have joy.  To be compassionate and to be helpful, to care, to encourage others, and to surrender everything to Him.

I ask that you look at yourself, question yourself, do you have a wall around your heart? Are you afraid of taking a risk? If so, why? What is stopping you from taking a risk?  If you know the root of your issue bring it to the cross, ask God to heal you, ask God to set you free, surrender your struggles.  Don’t hold onto them.  For you cannot do everything in your own strength.

Trust me dear friends, risks are worth it.  Living in the moment is worth it, and from now on I will go with the flow, and I will learn to live my life to the fullest. Amen. Hallelujah. Praise the Lord.

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