I look all around me and I see that people have lost their innocence.  The world seems to be moving at an exceptionally fast rate.  And unfortunately it does not seem to slow down.  I wish that it would slow down.  Kids these days seem to be growing up too fast because of the advancing technology.  Take when I was a kid 20 odd years ago, I don’t remember knowing what a mobile phone was.  We had a Gameboy but I never really played on it.  I did not enjoy it.  Instead I loved going outside to play.  I loved playing with my dogs and dolls and I loved doing arts and crafts.  My time was spent relishing in the innocence of childhood.  If only the world would go back to that place.  Instead I feel like we are all living the rat’s race.  Even children.  This is sad.

Consumerism, materialism, greed, prosperity gospel, selfishness, arrogance, ‘keeping up with Jones’ you name it.  The world has come to be a place of where people just think about themselves. I want. I want. I want. I want.  I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want.  Do you get where I am coming with this?  The world basically is saying ‘look at myself’ and no-one else.  And I find that that is a sad predicament to be in.  People are beginning to be more and more selfish.  If an accident happens, a lot of people will just turn away, or quickly take their smart phone out and snap take a photo.  I mean come on guys?  Where is the humanity in that?  Why not rush out to help that person, instead of snapping a photo for your own selfish gain.  I have to learn to keep my thoughts to myself lately.

I often say to myself I was born in the wrong era.  Why was I born in the 21^st century?  Why could I not have been born much sooner, when life seemed simpler, and more meaningful. I guess because God put me here when He wanted me to be here.  I want to not focus on myself anymore but start to focus on giving out love, and living a more selfless life.  How will I do that?  I guess I just have to point my eyes towards the cross, and read the bible on a daily basis, and praise the Lord in all things whether good or bad.  God is ultimately in control of our lives.  If we can focus on changing our attitudes and removing the ‘why’ questions, the ‘what if’ questions, the ‘how’ questions, then I truly believe we will come to a point of peace within us.  I know, I know easier done then said.  Even I struggle with this.  Especially after losing my little boy, I question the whys, and what if I did this differently, and how could it have even happened to me.  But I also know deep down within me that God is in control of all things.

Galations 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.

Ask God to fill you up with the fruit of the spirit.  Ask him to help us to focus on Him and not ourselves, so that we may become more faithful, and less judgmental towards others.  By reading more, the more we can focus on his word and be more realistically connected to God our Heavenly Father.  Then we will be able to discern between God’s will and our own ideas of what we want to do in our lives.  Also, then we will be able to focus on helping others and focusing on their needs rather than wanting our needs to be fulfilled.  Once we fulfil God’s will – God will for sure provide for us.  We can serve our community.  We can love our community.  We can be full of joy and peace.  If we allow for God to make his dwelling place within us!

Often when I go for runs in the morning – usually it is at the crack of dawn around 5 in the morning when the sun is going up because I cannot sleep, I think about what a broken world we live in.  Almost everyone obsessed about materialism, consumerism, consumed with greed and selfishness, obsessed with their mobile phones (I struggle with that sometimes, in all honesty – and I hate it, and nowadays I turn my phone off for certain periods during the day – it doesn’t matter if your message isn’t answered immediately à it will still be there when you come back) it just absolutely breaks my heart, and I don’t want to be one of those people.  But for the most part people want us to fit in a certain mold and if we don’t fit in that mold, well then you are tossed to the side, and looked at with contempt.  Walking/running in the morning at 5.30 am is so nice.  The nice crisp air against my skin, the sense of freedom, everyone still asleep.  Just me and God – full reign to talk and shout, and cry and no-one has to see my tears.  Followed by fresh orange juice.  I love mornings like that!

If I can make a small difference to someone’s life then I will.   If I can make a small difference by writing and people reading it, then I will.  I know I tend to write essays and I tend to give imagery, but I am an artist – so for me it is only natural.

For those of you who are struggling with losing your child, or just grieving, know that I am praying for you, and that you are not alone in this battle.  We parents are united as one in this battle.  Innocence may have been lost, but importantly your child’s innocence has not been lost.  They have been kept pure and thanks to God for that.  I am with you in prayer, at least.