---

Painfully Broken

 

When all the world is looming dark

I watch my reflection being mirrored

In the stained glass and

See that my heart is stained but darker.

 

I am lying here alone, tired, weary all

the while noone hears my

cries of deep heartache.

Alone in the world i am;

Painfully broken.

With each minute that disappears

Into nothingness forever

My heart aches for my little boy

That once lived within me

where two heartbeats became one.

And time away from him

stretches further and further

into the weary distance.

 

O Lord don’t you know?

How much it hurts

To walk this road of brokenness

And battle the winds in the storm

And the glaring sun

And the blizzards of disolate

That looms like a dark cloud

Over my head.

 

O Lord don’t you know?

How much i wanted to be

my son’s mommy.

This journey of sadness is to heavy

To carry alone on my back.

O Lord please help me

Walk with me as i trod

this lonely path burdened

With deep grief.

 

Help me O Lord to seek your kingdom

First. Help me to be joyful in spirit

All the while the deep grief gnaws at me.

Sadness unfulfilled multiplies

As i learn once more to trust in you.

 

O Lord don’t you know?

My little boy was my rainbow

I loved him more than myself

I would have fought all the world

to keep him safe

Don’t you know i would have taught

Sebby all about you Lord.

 

Why does it have to hurt so much?

The missing. The pain?

The lonileness that never ends

The ache of wanting to hold my child

Near my chest.

O Lord i can’t do it no more.

Hear me please! Help me!

I cry out once more.