Happy 2nd Birthday, Sebby

My Dearest Sebby, Just thinking on the eve before your birthday… Thinking of what it would have been like to have you here toddling around. You would have been two years old. A strapping little boy. My heart breaks just thinking about it. How can it be? Two years… You will be two years old.…

Hard Days

The last two days have been strangely difficult.  Perhaps if I had gone somewhere which was the original plan it would have been easier.  But for some reason I decided I will stay and not go anywhere.  I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything.  I feel like I am in a completely different ‘time…

Celebrating Sebby

I always thought that I would have an October baby.  Not a September baby.  But I have a September baby.  A September boy.  Two years ago I was still pregnant and I am convinced that my little boy was still alive.  The eve before his death-date.  Then there’s the question: how can his death-date be…

Hannah’s Hope

Shifting shadows. Time moving. By gotten past fluttering through.  The nightmare and the reality blending into one. Shifting shadows blending in. Grief holding onto future, but future now holds the upper hand.  Now future stronger than grief.  Grief still there. Grief will always be present but different from a bygone past.  From a time when…